


Flight, Freedom, Fury

by starlightwalking



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Finwëan Ladies Week 2019, Flight of the Noldor, Gen, Goodbyes, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 10:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Lalwendë says goodbye to her little brother.





	Flight, Freedom, Fury

**Author's Note:**

> I had planned on writing something about Lalwen/Cirdan for Finwëan Ladies Week, but I had too many ideas and couldn't pick... and then I got emo thinking about her and her little brother, so I wrote this instead.

_But in that hour Finarfin forsook the march, and turned back, being filled with grief, and with bitterness against the House of Fëanor..._  
—"Of the Flight of the Noldor," _The Silmarillion_

Lalwendë stormed into Arafinwë's tent without any warning, eyes flashing with anger. "Tell me I have heard the rumors wrong," she growled, standing before him with shaking fists. "Tell me that you are not turning your back on us and fleeing back to Valinórë."

Despite himself, Arafinwë flinched. Glancing to his companions, he jerked his head in dismissal. They trickled out of the tent, leaving brother and sister alone.

"I am returning," he admitted. "Call it a second flight, if you must, but yes. I am leading those who judge this venture unwise back home."

Lalwendë took a step forward, tears streaming freely from her eyes. "Ara...you _can't_."

"I can, and I must!" Arafinwë exclaimed. "Lalli, you heard what Mandos said. We are doomed if we forsake Aman—we have already brought too much grief upon our people, upon our _family_, in following Fëanáro thus far!"

"I am not following Fëanáro," Lalwendë snapped. "I am walking beside Ñolo!"

Arafinwë shook his head, too shamed to meet her eyes. "Have you forgotten Alqualondë?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "Who did we follow then—Ñolo, or Fëanáro?"

Lalwendë ground her teeth. "We are neither of us Kinslayers. Ought we to let Fëanáro rampage across Endórë unchecked? Only think of what could happen there if he has none to stop him!"

"Not even Nerdanel could dissuade him," Arafinwë said.

"I did not mean we could dissuade him." There was iron in her voice, so hard and unforgiving that it caused Arafinwë to tremble.

"Would you slay your own brother, then?" he asked softly.

"_Half_-brother." She spat the words with such venom that he swore he could hear Fëanáro in her voice.

"You sound like him," Arafinwë said quietly.

At this Lalwendë froze, hanging her head. Long, dark hair fell in her face, obscuring her eyes. Arafinwë reached out to lift her chin.

"It is not I who should be comforting you, Lalli," he said softly. "I am the littlest of us five."

Lalwendë shrugged her way out of his grip. "I want you to be safe," she whispered. "But I don't want to lose you."

"Then come back with me!" Arafinwë pleaded. "We need not be part of such a dreadful story. We have walked in the blood of the Teleri already—let us endure such horrors no longer."

"And how do you think the Teleri will receive you?" Lalwendë shot back. "With your wedding vows you became as one of them, Ara, but their hatred for the Ñoldor will not have calmed in the months since we fled in their precious ships. You may not have slain them, but you did not return their property nor speak words of remorse. How do you think Eärwen will take your return?"

"Don't bring her into this!" Arafinwë snapped, his patience abruptly running dry.

"You forsook her!" Lalwendë shouted. "You and Ñolo left your wives, just as Fëanáro did! Do you really think she will welcome you back with open arms?"

"Better that I return now rather than perish across the Sea," Arafinwë hissed. "And Eärwen is not the only one we left behind! What of Ammë, and Findis?"

Lalwendë flinched. "I made my choice," she said. "They made theirs. And _I_ will not go back on my word. I pledged my loyalty to Ñolo, and he to Fëanáro. Whatever awaits us, I will face it." She met his eyes with a fire blazing in her own. "I never thought you were a coward."

Arafinwë sighed, the fight draining out of him. "If I am a coward for submitting myself to the judgement of Manwë, then so be it. At least I shall be a living coward, and a coward who is not a Kinslayer."

Lalwendë glared at him for a long moment—and then she wailed, pulling him into her arms. For all he was taller than she now, she was forever his big sister.

"I fear for you," she wept. "What if Manwë finds you guilty, and in need of punishment? What then?"

"You heard the Doom of Mandos the same as I," Arafinwë whispered. "I do not think that will be the case."

"What of me, and Ñolo?" She leaned back, looking at him with watery eyes. "What of your children? Are they following you?"

Arafinwë hung his head. "You and Ñolo will be sung of in the great ballads of the wars against evil," he murmured. "And my children also. My sons will stay with their cousins. And Artanis..."

"I will look after her," Lalwendë promised. "She and Írissë will be under my eye, Ara. There are too few women in the house of Finwë for us not to cling to each other." A shadow passed across her face. "Especially now that we are sundered from Findis."

"You must understand, Lalli," Arafinwë said, desperate she not think less of him. "I am not returning alone. There are others—many others, a third of our host—who wish to return. We will seek the pardon of the Valar; Mandos promised to judge us not unkindly. They shall need a leader. Our father is dead, and Fëanáro leads the exiles. Who shall lead in Aman?"

Lalwendë laughed, but there was little humor in it. Arafinwë shuddered at the joyless sound: for one named for her laughter, the bitterness pierced his heart as sharply as any blade.

"Little Arafinwë, King of the Ñoldor," she said softly. "None of us thought Atar's rule would end, let alone that you would take up his mantle."

"I am not a child any longer, Lalli," he said seriously.

She patted his cheek. "I know this, little monster," she teased. "It was difficult to picture you a husband to some Telerin princess, and more so to see you as a father, but if you are to have a wife and four children, why not be a king?" She shook her head. "And all before I found a spouse worthy of my love."

"Perhaps you shall be stolen away by some Dark Elf in Endórë," Arafinwë joked, but his heart was heavy. "I fear my children shall find their hearts' desires there, also. Not—not because I would have them be unhappy, or because I fear the mingling of their blood with the Avari...but because I shall not be there to support them. Alas that Findaráto and Amarië were not wed! I shall never see the marriage of my children, save Angaráto—but even he has been sundered from his wife."

Lalwendë embraced him. "I promise you, if they are married in Endórë, I shall be there," she vowed. "I shall stand there for you, and do as you would."

"In all things?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

She laughed again, truly this time. "Of course not!" she exclaimed. "If I were to do as you would in _all_ things, I would be the one leading our people back to Aman, and I would not be so rash as to heed anything Fëanáro said, even if it is only the promise of freedom in Endórë."

"Be careful," Arafinwë murmured, embracing her again. "I doubt not the strength of your will nor the valour of your heart, but Moringotto is a terrible foe."

"I will not be alone." Lalwendë grinned, that iron again hardening behind her eyes. "I have our brothers' fury also."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and commenting!  
You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/), and check out the [Finwëan Ladies Week blog](http://finweanladiesweek.tumblr.com/) too!


End file.
